.ღ.

我宁愿让我的身体疼痛, 也不想让我的心仍然感觉承受这样的痛苦.

The fact of having it and at the same time not having it

At this instant I have thoughts filling my head concerning life issues, but I just cannot put them into words. When a sentence has just begun with letters, the backspace key is tapped...and booom there goes the blank again.

I have just read the last July issue of Readers’ Digest about a lady who lost both her legs in a suicide bomb attack in London. About how strong she hanged on to life at the instant when everything went dark until she started her ‘life 2’ she called it. There were 2 voices in her head when the incident happened, one asking her to just let go, the other asked her to stay and hang on. It was the latter that she listened to, which made her today. You see, it is not the completed puzzle that we are talking about; it is how we fix the small pieces together as one.

I cannot make myself any fuller. The love given and the love taken, there is no use to measure them. How can one makes one feels more appreciated?

Locked

If that moment never happened, and if you did not show how much it feels, I would be like a little girl seeking for a place to rest her head when she is tired of everything in life that is full of contradictions.

But life is how we control the tricks that are always playing around ourselves. We cannot always put a smiley on our faces; we cannot always get what we want.

Sometimes, being unaware is better than being solemn and unable to react accordingly.

How I wish I am the type who do not care much. How I wish I could be more emotion-free. How I wish I know what to do to make everything in piece again. Lord, please teach me how.

Speaks through my music

More music than words.

That's why I can't be attentive in social talks lately.

:(

Waking up in Tears

Have you ever tried waking up in tears in the middle of the night? Something happened in my

dreams, they are not sweet, i have no energy to fight over them, they attacked me one after

another just like that. Even I've prayed for a good night sleep, they still come, continuously

over a week. What happened?

Words in a song

SOME phrases in Orianthi's According To You depict my feelings (i really mean SOME, which cover 5% of them all). I do find artists who play instruments in their own songs way professional than the others.

Well hello! Now that I've stopped blogging for long, I lost the sense and interest to write and read blogs. This post is here because I'm too bored. One more month to go till my new semester starts, phew. Till then Chinese New Year will end too. This year, I'm holding the responsibility to bake all cookies and cakes. Wish me luck. ;)

This morning, my aunt said the same thing I've heard many times before. Life's so miserable.

For You

Lonely the path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Cœur ouvert
A l'univers
Poursuis ta quête
Sans regarder derrière
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se lève

Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'où ton rêve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu crois, si tu crois, si tu crois
En toi

Suis ta lumière
N'éteins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fond de toi souviens-toi
Que je crois, que je crois, que je crois
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me too
And when I hold you close
I know that it's true

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you

I believe I believe I believe in you
I believe in you

Long Gone

Bonjour all,

When was the last time you hear from me? Gomennasai :/

For the past two months, I was packed with all normal everyday happenings, classes in Uni, music lessons, teaching classes, sports and performances. Do you think those are the only things I do? Of course not, I spent time to build my personality too :P

Foundation Studies are over now and Bachelor of Science/Biotechnology is my next step. Results for Foundation Studies was not I aimed for, so I have to work harder now (meaning to say you will seldom see me here, again..) oppssyyy, this is just the first week, so we are still relaxing (so I am still here).

During the one month holiday break, I decided to do a collection. Let's play some guessing games here. Guess what type of collections I do?

Option A : Music CDs
Option B : High Heels
Option C : Wrapping Papers
Option D : Music books
Option E : Nail colors

p/s: No gift will be awarded to those who guessed
correctly, just trying to have some fun with ya all :P

Happy - Learnt major happenings in life. Found many new things and new ways to deal with things.

Sad - I kept two dwarf hamsters, but one lived for less than two weeks, the other slightly longer than a month. May Hamsterin and Oxnard rest in peace. I will never try to keep pets anymore, pity them, huhu.

Emo - Family

Stresses - Music and studies

Excited - Books and lab activities awaiting ahead of me in this course. We actually have our very own lab coat, wuhooo, I sound childish, lolx! And and and TI-83+!!!

Hopes and Wishes - I joined Ballroom dance lessons. For...fun! It is FUN!!! Hope I can be a better dancer. Better girl better person, grow musically and emotionally too.

Creativity - Tried ways to beautify my own room :) It turned out quite impressive, to me though. But, of course, I only need to please myself, coz it's my room, hooray.

Look - Lost a little bit of weight, hoping to get healthier physically as well as mentally. Wanna see me?


Tadaaaaa

Business - $$$ kekeke..

Skills - Performance skills are all I talk about. Both in piano and viola playing, there are so many things to learn.


Tata~

Melodious Life

26th April '09 (SUN)

Attended a Sarawak ROCK Party

A new experience. (to the ears hekhek)

But congratulations to Swing Habitz, Season & William whom I know. They were the spotlight of the day I can

say.

Read this little story if you can :)


30th April '09 (THURS)

Recording of Sarawak's Anthem, Ibu Pertiwiku, with the Sarawak Symphonic Orchestra at RTM. A fun

experience, but just a usual session of practice with the team.

Being in an orchestra is like being in a football team. ~Marcus Leong (2009)

2nd May '09 (SAT)

Electrifying TRIO


I haven't attend this, so I am not sure how is it like. But I've heard them practicing in school (IMH). It

was...hhmmm, how should I put this into words? HHHmmmmm...it was a.w.e.s.o.m.e!


11th May '09 (MON)

SONS next performance, a state dinner for the VIPs (again=.=) at DUN.

sorry, no photos available.


23rd May '09 (SAT)

ER '09
(EASTER RALLY)

This is B.I.G.

Skrøbelig

I'm Skrøbelig = Easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail.

P/s : Please click on the ♥

♥ to listen to my music playlist on Imeem
I didn't realize since when the music player only plays a 30secs preview for all the songs here.

I do not know what to write

I I I...feel new and a lil strange to blogging after a complete no-updates for two weeks. I did not update, and did not pay visits to friends' blogs too. I don't even know what to put as my title :(

How exactly to write a post? I have no idea what I should write on. Maybe I should just blabber abit about my life now.

The usual everyday routine for me is to wake up around 6-7am, eat my supplements, sometimes I head off to the gym, sometimes when I have early classes, I got myself ready then Swinburne here I come. Then, there I will be for the whole day, until the least is 7pm, or if I have night class, I only reach home around 9pm. That's also for Thursday only, I don't even have a lunch break for my meal, because when I am supposed to be having my lunch, I am to attend viola lessons. Do not pity me, hehe, I feel great being able to attend music lessons, lalala. During weekends, I have orchestra practices and some teachings AND piano lessons. WEeeeeeeee...!!!

For the past two weeks, we foundation students were all busy with our report-writing and speech-giving assignments. Today, we had just had our Engineering Maths small test. But, it was quite a 'scary' test. This coming week onwards, we will be busy with another group report and more exams.

Two weeks ago, there was a Blood Donation Campaign held in Swinburne, I was there, but but...I did not get the chance to donate my precious O blood, felt disappointed with myself. Then, from that day onwards, I do not know why, I feel like I am the one who need blood from other people.Not only that, I am to eat Alpha Lipid-Lifeline (milk-powdered drink). But it tastes nice lah, no complain, for my health at this price my mummy pays, I should appreciate. For more info about this product, please kindly click HERE BUT BUT, can I complain about something?? WHy mosquitoes always bite me?? And why pimples keep popping on my face?? grrrr...

Our friends who went for Matriculation sometime same time when I entered Swinburne, have come back. They are cool with their life now. Going to meet them one by one when I have time, so, there will be posts about our activities, more new posts lahh I promise Palia!! ish...teeheeeheee.. TOMORROW, we are going to a Rock Concert, hope it will be fun sans vous :)

Current feelings :

Sometimes triste sometimes heureux, but most of the time heureux 'coz I learned to appreciate every little things I own. At times when I'm triste, (ee, just remembered I played a song called Triste Cour by Richard Clayderman before, now I know what the term means), mostly there will be cure for me, c'est vous qui me rendent triste &
c'est vous qui me rendent heureux, c'est vous qui compte pour moi & touche-moi.

Errr...schläfrig too, panda eyes...

Sometimes I'm müde..

But, Ich liebe dich, bin immer noch gerne die meiste Zeit. Danke!

What's coming up :

Recording of Sarawak Anthem with Sarawak Symphonic Orchestra

Mum's birthday

Mothers' Day

p/s: Any idea what to do for our mums? ^^

Happy Easter everyone.

Tämä on sinulle

Taken at Austria during our visit in year 2006.

My Now

I love Science and it pains me
to think that so many are terrified
of the subject or feel that choosing
Science means you cannot also choose
compassion, or the arts,
or be awed by nature.
Science is not meant to cure us of mystery,
but to reinvent and reinvigorate it.
~ Robert Sapolsky, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, p. xii

P/s : I am most attracted to the title of the book or article, WHY ZABRAS DON'T GET ULCERS, funny isn't it?

Snacks-Snakes-Slurrppp!!

Emptied, yum yum..


The attached pictures show that MeiMei has been eating a lot lately.
Those who are close to her will know the reason when she cannot stop eating.
Those who do not know, it's ok it's ok. We're just not 'close', we are 'open'. :P

For my record : I exercised (workout at the gym/playing badminton) for 13 days out of 31 days in March.
There's going to be more in April.

Many things happened in Uni for the past two weeks.
Met old friends and made new friends too.
Even in computer lab, the CPU on my desk toppled out of a sudden, when everyone started looking towards my direction, it wasn't me, daddy!!! It was Jimmy.. lala

On April fool's day, we had night class.
There were two werewolves named Jim & Cla, on the street, trying to scare me, duhh..
I didn't got fooled.

Bjorn & I are able to communicate even better now. Felicitaz!!
Je'taime


This picture speaks a thousand words.

在这个世界上有很多事情
是跟这水面一样的
是透明的
想要隐藏也藏不住
你觉得呢？

One day the pain will pass
And only the beautiful memories remain

很久以前

有一个乌龟
它总是抬头抬得高高的
别人会问
你是在等什么呢？
她说
没有啊
我只是在晾太阳而以
其实啊
她正在等待北极熊

傻傻的等待
一直等
终于等到有一天
北极熊回来了
那现在乌龟是不是应该回到北极熊的身边？

:from a DRAMA I am watching now:

6hrs-5hrs-4hrs

I viewed sun rise on a hill top yesterday.

...and they say, life is measured by experiences but not your belongings.

Yum Yum

Been Eating A Lot

Date : 14th March
Venue : Sunday Market
Name : Putu Mayong


Date : 18th March
Venue : Pizza Hut
Name : Hawaiian Pizza

Date : 21st March
Venue : Bombay :whatwhat:
Name : Thosai

Date : 22nd March
Venue : Home
Name : Nasi Briyani

And...
Exercising Quite A Lot too Because..
I Have A Theory

:P

Painted my nails RED!!
I don't understand myself too sometimes, ewww..
And yes! I love my nails that short!

Today is a Gift, that is why it's called the Present

Read this :

~ A story of Life ~

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a Gift, that is why it is called the Present.'

Yours Mine Ours

Often we argue what is mine, what is yours..
Why can't it be ours?

The Perfect Killer Has No Friends - Only Targets

Read the synopsis for some books.
When all seems to be so true,
I know,
Something must have happened that the authors penned them into a story.


I've asked "Are you okay" to MANY for the past few days,
Maybe I'm not suitable to ask at all.


Waking up in the middle of the nights,
Knowing I should go back to sleep,
But, what keeps me laying awake?
Maybe it's the nerves,
They are killing me silently.

He said my nerves are getting too sensitive lately,
He asked, "Ahh, are you very stress?"
I have no idea,
I exercised,
Warmly loved,
Having wonderful activities all the time.
So, he suggests more care on my diet.
M o r e tablets before & after meals. :(